Cinder and Jay part 16

......It had been another two moon's since I had told Briarsong of my meeting with crowfeather.
I didn't tell Jayfeather, somthing deep inside me told me it would be very bad if I told him.
Right now it was sunhigh, and sandkit was talking with me excitedly, about his apprentice ceremony at sunset. I was very excited to find out who his mentor would be, i hoped it would be someone who would understand him as well as I did.
The time seemed to disolve as the time finally came for sandkit, and his litter mates to become apprentices. The whole time he was waiting for his turn to be made an apprentice, he didn't look at his litter-mates, but he looked at me. He had told me earlier that he would come and see me every day so he could tell me story's now, and I didn't mind. It would give me more time to bond with sandkit, before i joined starclan's ranks.
It was not dying that I was afraid of. no, joining starclan was nothing to fear. I was truly afraid for jayfeather, and my kit. There would be no way for me to keep them safe then. I knew that I didn't even need to ask Jayfeather, he would protect our daughter with his life, no questions asked.
But, who would protect him? that was what Crowfeather was worried about, that was why I had briarsong on my side.
I looked up at the now starlit sky, and thought.
'Jayfeather, I love him too. Did you honestly think I would even let him think of hurting himself because of me?'
I now heard bramblestar call upon sandkit.
"Sandkit, do you promise tolearn, and serve under the ways of our noble warrior code, and protect and defend it even at the cost of your life?" My leader said the ancient words.
"I do." Sandkit said, proudly.
I knew that he would do anything to prove himself a hero in his menotr's, his clan's, and my eyes, but as far as I was concerned he would always be a hero to me.
"Then, until you have earned you warrior name, you will be known as Sandpaw, and your mentor shall be Icestorm. I know that she will pass on everything she knows to you." He purred, then the meeting came to an end, and sandpaw came running up to me.
"So, how did I do?" He asked, excitedly.
"You did amazing, sandpaw." I emphasized the paw.
"I'm glad you think so, and I promise everyday, i'll come and see you. I look forward to when your out of the nursery, so we can run patrols together!"
My heart felt stabbed with a thorn, as he said this, because I knew that I would never be able to leave the nursery.
"Well don't get too excited, you have alot to learn. Now go get some sleep. Youlook like you ccould use it."
He just purred and laid his head against my chest for a moment then turned and followed his littermates to their new den.
I took a quick yawn, and padded over to the now empty nursery. I felt lonly, all by myself. then, I saw Jayfeather come in.
"Hello, love." He purred. It felt like I hadn't gottn to talk with him in at least a moon, because all my free time had to be spent with Mousewhisker.
He brushed his muzzle to mine and purred.
"I thought i would stay here with you tonight, No one will know because I'll be out of here before dawn. So can I stay?" He made a fake sad face.
I purred amused.
"Now what do you think, stupid furball?"
He just purred, and curled up around me saying.
"I've missed your humor."
"And, I've missed you." I purred, and soon drifted into a deep and peace filled sleep.
"Cinderheart, Cinderheart, wake up I need to talk to you now!" Someone prodded me in the side. I opened my eyes and looked up at the dark silouhette of mousewhisker.
"Yes, what is it mousewhisker?"
It was just before dawn but it was raining terribly. Suddenly lightening flashed and Mousewhisker said.
"Cinderheart, I'm in love with poppyfrost."
At first I was taken aback, I had noticed that him and her had been toogether alot lately, then I was happy for him because he had finally found love, then finally I was worried, what would he do now? It was too late for me to find a replacment father.
"Mousewhisker, I'm extremly happy for you. I really am. But, what are we going to do? Imean, I don't want to keep you away from poppyfrost."
he sighed and said.
"No cinderheart, I gave you my word, and I will keep it. I'll find someway to make this work, somehow..." He sighed then, quietly left the den.
I sighed and went back to sleep with a heavy heart....